January 1st - January 8th, 2023
Again, if you see my name in any fashion September 2022 through all of 2023-- I refuse to give any permission(s) for any area to any person(s).
I am in lay low mode and others will/have "use(d)" my name for their reason(s) but at no time did I get foreknowledge/permission or the respect to exclude me and my name in 2023 as I requested so be mindful what the person is placing out tying my name to it.
That is the world we live in now. Sad, huh.
See an example:
This blog's contributing author placed my name on a paper as a co-author when I said in 2022--- nowhere am I available in 2023 --- and zero travelling in 2023.
Bucket List? Really? How about those who hold on to the facts and truths make it their 2023 Bucket List to "Speak Up"...come on...
No dress - went casual to Rose's funeral - all that weight I put on sooo quick --- tried a few dresses on --- no go ---
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January 9th - January 15th, 2023
1-13-23 4:19am recap thus far to this week: I need to get ready to go to the Arizona State Library --- but wanted to explain this 2023 so far...
Externally speaking then into my space speaking.
I asked everyone to just allow me the space to heal without others "incoming/outgoing" so I can focus to just healing from that brutal assault (Summer 2022) and I still am dealing with the liver and doing a procedure soon...
Now, I am not one to hire on a "caregiver" and not yet ready for an undertaker.
I am not well enough to go out to trail with Sonny
nor have any desire to "keep up with individuals who with intent lied and omitted to me last year" and then say sorry and expect I want that anywhere near my daily life so yeah...nope.
they like their crap "back channel" so I will leave it there but with a white block (redact) for the most part so you all know it does exist...
and I really do not want incoming communications until I am healed
and I will reach out and let all know on here. This blog exists still and is the best way to reach out and share my live journal and you will see in the writing when I healed...
One of them even wrote this when asked to allow me my private space to heal:
my PRIDE huh? This man will understand I need to heal --- so I will show publicly those who attempt to judge my request/comment vs just allowing me the RESPECT to HEAL. Then you will see along with me those who have decided my choice to heal and the reactions to that are above.
I did ask this person above months ago to allow me my space to heal with zero incoming but compromised to WIX post-related stuff only for 2023 via portal only--- no emails, texts, calls, in person, etc just the portal so I can heal and see how does above have to do with WIX related areas? It doesn't.
Remember I had asked for ZERO incoming communications.
but every time I came back from the mountains, I had to avoid and skip messages ... many many messages
but still saw odd messages like "love" ???-- come on, man.
Are we now "love bom*ing" in hopes I reply???
Uh nope nor does it match up to the incoming deception I had to watch happening towards my way. I have zero tolerance to rubbish.
I can tell you this ... the people who lied/deceived with intent/omitted in 2022 to me and others .. God is watching them so I do not even have to waste time that way ...
I am around very trustworthy people in my immediate space nowadays. It is very nice.
I have met up with a family who knew my family back in the earlier days (old school) and they are the most generous folks and I will be spending half of my 2023 with them and the other half with my own family and pets.
I also have a ladies group I go to a few times a month and one of them I will begin to spend two days a week working out with her and I really care about all of them individually and collectively and my mother and my family will share--- this part is a rarity for me, but I am loving it.
On the half with my family and pets time spent, I will also be doing this "live" journal, medical appointments, cerebral care and really keeping focused to my brain tumors and large organs and all my health concerns...
I hike with my husband and dog ... and also out on the Weaver Mountain areas...
If you get people telling you in 2022/2023 that because I am honoring me to "heal" and people are perceiving the space as I broke their hearts then they need to reflect on that ...
After I rebuilt my foundation, I will be open to incoming again but zero toxicity is welcomed.
My hope in 2023 is that people look at me --- not what I have or don't have.
That is why I really am liking 2023 thus far because the people I am around we just "chill/laugh/smile" and enjoy the fine company and fine foods.
I can tell you half my life since October 2022 has been spent out under the moonlit stars away from home life and I am getting older and I praise any person my age or older who sleep on the bare ground ---
I was once the lover to that myself but with my rare diseases and seeing my rare disease genetic counselor---I am now awaiting an outdoor style mattress to join my desert dwelling lifestyle.
I fought the purchase of the mattress --- I wanted to tough it out but my hips and spine look forward to that mattress out there in the desert.
So if you perceive I broke your heart because I am out "living" what I am known for decades to do --- desert walk ... than take that to God.
I miss catching up with Ryan, Dozer guy, and Jack...that was a hoot in 2022
yet I noticed a person kept reaching some of those folks so that is why I had to cease it
because I do not even want to "hear" that person's name or life events and that is what I saw happening ...
someday I know God-willing we will catch up like it was ... for now, I am on my life adventures filling up my chapters by "showing up" ...
If me taking time for me to make sure I have a healthy based life living in truth and with integrity ... offends you or makes you get in your emotions --- or screws with your ego
... I have been transparent ... and I have been through much to recover from last Summer 2022 ... I want to bring the light to the dark areas --- our corruption(s) in this world.
I feel for the weak-willed and I am praying for all you even those creating the mayhems with intent or unintentionally.
Even to those who think I never knew, I know.
You know learning the many levels on the aftermath of the fire...it was uneasy. Whomever those drama-filled folks out there ... I am much braver than you ever imagined, eh.
2023 is accountability year...
January 14th 10am-4pm, I was with Toni G. and it was so delightful. We are now committing to being each other as workout pals twice a week on top of my almost 4 days of Desert time and my 3 days walking with hubby and dog...I am going to move my liver procedure and call my ENT specialist because that appt is soon and I never did their study yet ...I moved my seizure doctor further out being my appt was soon and I am doing okay there ...
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1-15-23 2pm: Hey M.D., I just got thrown into your conference call today --- yet the tone and delivery was aimed at me. One may ask why but I have to keep moving forward but remember who called you, not me...who spoke about what church, not me...I just replied with a long pause after you stated more than once "that's weird"
Today, a person said SDB goes to church and this other person sad ill things on SDB so I told the one person "what church--- so I can avoid attending it --- because it's for sure not an edifying church if he goes there and does what he does outside the sanctuary"... when this other person conferenced me without permission (illegal) and then told this other person speaking out of step and then the other person says to me "that's weird" and not just once he said it so I stayed quiet a bit and I stated what is weird about asking what church after what I have seen and others on this others' abuse and that person got all up in tone and said he is not going down this route and hung up --- Again, I never called you MD, he did and he spoke to you and all I said was the church name would be relevant as to which one to avoid...
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